"Those vines out there, the ones near where you parked, well, those are almost 100 years old," the winery founder said to me. "They are dry farmed, meaning we don't irrigate. They've survived several droughts here and the grapes they produce yield the best wine. They survive because the roots go so deep and have found water below." Ah, there's a metaphor. When we find what sustains us, what matters most to us, that's when we thrive. We're not really any different from vines or other living creatures.

Photo of old vines at Nalle Winery, Healdsburg, CA

If you haven't started exploring how AI can help you with some of the more tedious aspects of the job search, consider this sample a starting place. I used OpenAI's ChatGPT to create some bullet points for my own resume. Using a block of text that talks about my achievements, I hoped to have five bullet points that focused on my leadership and organizational skills.

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When I was the new kid in tenth grade at a small school in Virginia I was lucky to land in Mrs. Sherley Keith's English class. To this day, I'm in touch with Mrs. Keith and I can recite from memory the Shakespearean sonnet we had to learn. The lesson that sticks with me most, however, from that year with Mrs. Keith, is her motto "We love to learn."  Besides daily reminders that learning is joyful, we once had a cake with "We love to learn" emblazoned on it in icing. Mrs. Keith modeled fearless curiousity.

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"Know your strengths" is one of my guiding principles, both personally and professionally. It seems an obvious point to make, but it's oddly forgotten many times: research shows that we are happiest doing work that draws on our strengths. There are ways to identify your strengths, besides just going on what intuitively feels right. Here are three scientifically backed options to help you understand your strengths and your personality.

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Not too long ago a career coach friend of mine and I got talking about the "awkwardness" our clients often describe feeling — whether reaching out to a new contact, following up after an interview, or just trying to learn more about a job. There's an innate hesitation many of us have.

Anecdotally, it seems to me that the fear of something being awkward has only increased in the last decade or so. It's not just something our teenage kids talk about. Maybe it was all that social isolation of the pandemic. 

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I've spent a lot of my professional life working for academic institutions, and a number of my family members are academics. I'm accustomed to analytical and critical types. I remember that I used to think the notion of being your own worst critic was a good thing, something that indicated rigor, analysis, and holding oneself to a high standard. While I have nothing against maintaining high standards, I have recently learned a more nuanced understanding of the inner critics many of us carry. Sometimes these critics are not so helpful after all! This past winter I completed a seven-week class on Positive Intelligence, the program of mental fitness training led by Shirzad Chamine. While one blog post won't provide an in-depth review of this program's usefulness, there's one activity we did that might help in a career search. It's a way to remind yourself of your essence.

Q: What's an informational interview?

A: A brief meeting on Zoom or in person, or a short phone call with a person in a field or job that interests you. It's not an ask for a job. It's not a place to sell anything. It's simply a chance to learn more about a field, an industry, or a person's particular role.

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Do you play Wordle? I do, and I enjoy it, but I've noticed a curious thing. I have friends who post their results on their social media channels, especially if they've solved the puzzle in two tries. (Or even one try, I saw once from a particularly lucky — or skilled — friend.)

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When my son graduated from high school and was leaving home to go to college, I gave him a sort-of poem. I called it 25. It's 25 words that I (aspire to) live by. He was launching, and it felt like one last time to share with him the values I hope I had imparted.  The first two words in that list of 25: show up.

Photo taken on summit of Mt. Cardigan, New Hampshire.

It's that time of year when many of us make New Year's resolutions, or, at the very least, we take a moment to review the recently concluded year and to think ahead. I'm not big on the former, but I do take time to think about my values each year and how my actions and plans reflect them.

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If you are like me and have what is called "a bias to action," you get things done. So many moms I know have this, mostly because they have no choice. Their child needs something and needs it now so they're on it. The daycare has a strict no later than 5:30 pick-up rule so they are out the door and on the way. And we're lucky to live in an age when the idea that "there's an app for that" is almost always true.

photo by Lisa Summer at Pexels

A former co-worker (and still a close friend) gave me some socks for a birthday. Emblazoned on the side of these socks are the words: "Shhh, I'm overthinking." Every time I wear those socks I laugh out loud, and I'm reminded how well that friend knows me. Thinking is a good thing, but overthinking can sometimes get in the way.

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When you hear the word "networking," do you feel your level of anxiety increasing? If yes, you're not alone. So many of my clients — often in our first meeting — divulge how much they dislike the idea of networking. But, they know it matters in the job search. It especially matters if you are battling ageism, have taken a career break of more than a year, or are making a career pivot.

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A client recently returned to a paid job after years as a stay-at-home mom. She wrote a lovely piece on LinkedIn to announce her new gig, and she spoke eloquently about the joys and challenges of caregiving, and, in particular, job searching while caregiving. I don't think we talk enough about the "work" that is involved in caregiving, whether you are a stay-at-home mom or dad or a stay-at-home caregiver for another family member.

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If you've spent any time in Maine maybe you know the rosa rugosa, the beach rose, widespread at places like Reid State Park. When I think of the beach in Maine, I think of that distinct rose fragrance. I love the blossoms, the rose hips, even the leaves. It's an iconic piece of this beautiful state. Or so I thought. Turns out rosa rugosa is an invasive species, and not a part of Maine that's "always been here." I had to think again about a favorite aspect of what I thought to be quintessential Maine.

In the recent run-up to back-to-school a friend posted on Facebook what she called a "mom fail." While her child was away at summer camp this mom had held a garage sale and inadvertently sold the child's assigned summer reading books (which, she admitted, her child had clearly explained to mom would be read after camp ended). All of the comments on the post expressed solidarity and support. (I laughed out loud remembering my many mom fails!) We've all been there. But one Facebook friend offered a brilliant second thought: "Reframe that as a garage sale win!"

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There's a beach in Maine I'm drawn to so often that I now have two standing appointments each month on my calendar that simply say: "Reid." It's a reminder that at some time on that day, unless it's sideways raining or completely fogged in, I'm getting myself to Reid State Park for some ocean time. I'm not sure if it's the sound of the surf, the smell of the salt air and the ocean, the spectacular vistas, or the raw power I witness, but every time I'm there I feel more centered and stronger. It's cheaper than therapy and almost as good.

It's happened twice in the last few months: the words "how are you doing?" appear in my Messenger from someone who is a Facebook friend but not someone I'm in touch with regularly. My initial feeling of "how nice, someone is checking in!" changes quickly to my recognition that this person's account has been hacked. I'm struck by two things: my first always positive reaction and my following sadness that even the kindest gesture is now being used for deception.

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I write a lot about confidence, knowing your value, believing in yourself. More often than not, my clients have doubts about their skills if they've been out of the job search for a while, doubts about their value if they've not had a paycheck in a culture that equates salary with success, and doubts about their ability to navigate a job search. Please, believe in yourself!

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Happy Anniversary to Cardigan Associates! As we reach the first anniversary of this business, I thought about some lessons I learned as a founder. Oddly enough, they apply to those in the job search, too. Here, in no particular order, they are:

Say yes a lot, even when you're not sure what you're saying yes to (within reason). Doing a pitch contest, for example, was one of the scariest things I've ever done, but it forced me to articulate clearly what this business is about. When you are creating something new, you need to stay open to opportunities.

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