Defining success
Between LinkedIn and Facebook and Instagram there are a lot of messages out there encouraging us to hustle harder, push beyond our comfort zones, dare to try new things, or climb whatever figurative ladder or mountain we have ahead of us. At the same, if you've spent even a nanosecond talking to any woman in the last two years, you've no doubt heard stories of frustration and fatigue. It's no coincidence that the Great Resignation is largely a female phenomenon. All that hustling, climbing, and reaching is downright exhausting.
This got me thinking about the fallacy of living without limits. If living through this pandemic has taught us anything, I hope it's that there are limits — to our energy and to our capacity to do more and more. Some days I'm disheartened by the meanness and the lack of understanding that I still see so widespread. There are other days, though, that I'm encouraged. I see more public commentary on the need for kindness and mental health support. There are more business leaders and influential people speaking out on the need for healthy boundaries.
This past fall I experienced a perfect metaphor for recognizing limits. My son and his partner and I visited Yosemite National Park. One afternoon we took a moderate hike. It wasn't too busy on the trail, but there was a steady line of hikers climbing up to see the one waterfall that was running during that driest part of the year. I enjoy hiking, but I'm not an athlete. I didn't want to slow down my climbing companions. We came to a spot where we had a beautiful view of the falls, and a beautiful view of the steep trail ahead. I knew the view from the top would be lovely, but it wouldn't be much different than what I saw now. I knew I was tired. I realized I could rest at this spot, tell the guys to go on, and to meet me on their way down. What I didn't realize is that by resting there, I met people on their way up who stopped to take photos and rest, too. I was able to help them by snapping group portraits for them and by exchanging greetings. For this natural extrovert, it was much more rewarding to stop and have these engagements. I didn't need to "make it all the way to the top" to have a wonderful day in Yosemite.
My point is simple: boundaries and limits are good things. Challenging ourselves can also be a good thing. But you know yourself best. You don't have to push for the big thing others think is important if it's not what feeds your spirit. Success is what allows you to share your gifts, and you get to define that. One of the things I most enjoy about career coaching is helping each woman name success in her own authentic way.
