You get to be Who You are — Even in a Job Search
When our current Vice President — Kamala Harris — was just starting to campaign, I was a huge supporter (still am). And on my personal Facebook page I once posted something praising her strength and smarts. In the comments that ensued, a friend called her fierce, and I agreed, saying “I love fierce.” Another woman commented that she admired Kamala’s strength, too, but also extolled her kindness and warmth, qualities that I also admire and agree that our Vice President has in spades.
But now that I’ve launched my own business supporting women in the job search, I’m wondering about the adjectives we use to describe ourselves and the women we respect. What exactly is wrong with being fierce? Which took me to the dictionary. Or, if I’m being honest, Google. I found this interesting entry from Wiktionary:
Is Fierce a slang?
(slang, Ireland, rural) Excellent, very good. Q: “How was the party last night?” A: “Fierce!”
(slang, US, LGBT, fashion) Of exceptional quality, exhibiting boldness or chutzpah
Aha! That second one, that’s where I was going when writing about Madam Vice President. Exceptional quality and exhibiting boldness! I love that about anyone, especially about women.
But, when you go to a more traditional source, Merriam-Webster Dictionary, you find this list for fierce:
1a: violently hostile or aggressive in temperament a fierce tiger
1b: given to fighting or killing : PUGNACIOUS fierce fighters
2a: marked by unrestrained zeal or vehemence a fierce argument
2b: extremely vexatious, disappointing, or intense fierce pain
3: furiously active or determined make a fierce effort
4: wild or menacing in appearance
5informal : having or expressing bold confidence or style
And, there’s the rub, I think: women’s intensity scares some of us. I’m not just talking about a man being frightened of an intense woman. I’m talking about other women, too, and society at large. This isn’t news to most of us, but I think there’s a particular relevance for those in the job search.
You get to be who you are. Let me say that again: you get to be who you are. And if you are a more intense person with energy and passion, please don’t tone it down. Channel it, yes, and find ways to use it that allow you to share your gifts, but don’t deny who you are because there’s a bias against fierce or intense women. Find the places that support women and are not threatened by intensity, strength, and assertiveness. There are online sites like The Mom Project and fairygodboss that lift up those companies that support women in all their diversity and strength. And if you’re a fierce woman in the job search, come on over and talk with me. Because I still love fierce.
